25 7 / 2013

This recipe would be cheating for the actual consumption of #kabakhat, but for other hat consumption needs, it’s an excellent choice. Especially for groups, and perhaps even your next fondue night.

You might argue that the hat isn’t being consumed, but with this much alcohol and other liquids, I have to believe most of the toxins from the dyes will seep into the beverage. Success!

Multiply this recipe (via Drink Nation) by 10 and pour into one comically oversized Uncle Sam hat. Refrigerate for at least two hours, preferably overnight. Drink fast using comically long straws. Call a cab.

  • 2 oz. Gin
  • 1 oz. Rum, dark
  • 2 oz. Rum, overproof/151 proof
  • 2 oz. Rum, white
  • 2 oz. Vodka
  • 2 oz. Grenadine
  • 4 oz. Orange Juice
  • 4 oz. Pineapple Juice

Tasty for all ages!

24 7 / 2013

My award-winning Napoleon recipe (I will use this when I win Chopped, if they ever allow me on which they should bc i would win as long as Amanda Freitag, who is a jerk, isn’t on the show that day, preferably I’d get Aaron Sanchez, Geoffrey Zakarian and Scott Conant (and no, Scott, I won’t serve you red onions! LOL!))

#kabakhat Napoleon

1 sheet (half of a 17 oz. pkg) frozen puff pastry
1 (3.4 oz) pkg. instant vanilla pudding mix
The tears of Ben Kabak as he removes the hat from his crown one final time
1 comically oversized patriotic polyester (felt?) Uncle Sam hat
1 cup milk
1 teaspoon almond extract
1 cup whipped topping
2 cup stemmed and sliced strawberries
1/3 cup sliced almonds, toasted (optional)
Powdered sugar, for garnish
Ensure Kim is on hand for proper documentation. Heat oven to 400 degrees. Man up and prepare to eat the hat. Thaw folded pastry sheet for 20 minutes. Open sheet and cut along folds to make three equal strips; halve each strip to make six rectangles. Space apart on baking sheet. Bake in center of oven about 15 minutes until well browned and baked through. Remove to rack to cool. Chant Yankees Only. 

Meanwhile, in a bowl, whisk pudding mix, milk, and extract for 2 minutes; fold in whipped topping and blend thoroughly. Cover and refrigerate.

Carefully split each piece of pastry in half horizontally. Cover bottom halves with almonds, then pudding mixture and sliced strawberries, dividing equally. Kiss the Kabak hat. Dice the Kabak hat into small pieces. Allow your tears to wash over the hat as you bid it goodbye. Cover with pastry tops. Dust with powdered sugar.
Eat the hat, Kabak. 

24 7 / 2013

1 comically oversized Uncle Sam hat
3 medium tomatoes
1 medium yellow onion
4 cloves of garlic
1 shallot
1 zucchini
1 eggplant
2 green bell peppers
1 red bell pepper
Herbs to taste: marjoram, basil, thyme and bay leaf
Salt and Pepper

Step 1: Chop hat, peppers, zucchini and eggplant.
Step 2: Finely dice aromatics - garlic, onion and shallot.
Step 3: Over medium heat, melt butter in a heavy sauté pan or Dutch oven.
Step 4: Add aromatics, sauté to soften.
Step 5: Add hat and vegetables.
Step 6: Dice tomatoes, preserving juice is possible.
Step 7: Add tomatoes to pan.
Step 8: Finely chop herbs, add with salt and pepper to taste.
Step 9: Reduce until mix is of uniform consistency.
Step 10: Serve in miniature baseball helmet bowl.

For those of legal age, try pairing with a Farmhouse Hatter brew.

24 7 / 2013

The main ingredient.

The main ingredient.